Desperate Housewives doesn't wrap its eight-year run until May, but the grim reaper will be paying an early visit in March when a "major character" will die. As first reported by Entertainment Weekly, the passing will be "pivotal" to the rest of the season.
So which character is being laid to rest? We weigh the pros and cons for killing off each of the housewives and their house husbands in order from most likely to eat it to least:
1. Mike (James Denton)
Why He Will Die: Producers haven't really known what to do with Mike in recent years so death would finally give him purpose and send Susan on an intriguing new path. And it makes narrative sense, too: Mike made himself known to the bad guys when he convinced Ben not to borrow money from that shady man. Too bad Ben turned around and took the loan anyway -- if he falls short, will Mike have to pay the ultimate price?
Why He Won't: Sure, Susan and Mike became Wisteria's boring old married couple the instant they got re-hitched, but it would be cruel to rob them of a happy ending. Also, who's going to watch MJ while Susan is busy discovering herself as a "tortured" artist?
2. Carlos (Ricardo Antonio Chavira)
Why He Will Die: It's no secret that Carlos' immense guilt over killing Alejandro is what led him to the bottle. Is the next step taking his own life? Even if Carlos doesn't off himself, anyone looking to avenge Alejandro's death would likely go to him first. He's barely been featured in this season to begin with.
Why He Won't: When viewers first met the women of Wisteria Lane, the Solises were the opposite of a happy couple. It would be more poetic to close the book with Gaby and Carlos as we never thought we'd see them — in love.
3. Renee (Vanessa Williams)
Why She Will Die: She may have broken things off with Ben, but the mysterious mafia guy her ex-lover borrowed money from didn't seem afraid to get Renee involved if Ben doesn't keep to his strict payment plan.
Why She Won't: It's nothing personal, but most viewers never fully warmed up to the former Mrs. New York Yankee, so killing her off wouldn't send as many shockwaves — which is the whole point of axing someone so close to the end.
4. Bree (Marcia Cross)
Why She Will Die: Since the ladies buried Alejandro's body, Bree's been the sole recipient of those mysterious I Know What You Did Last Summer-esque notes. And did we mention her recent, and rather, sudden foray into sleeping around and drinking before noon? If the former homemaker of the year can transform into the town whore, anything is possible. If we're really going to spitball here, maybe it's Bree's funeral that would bring Orson back to Fairview.
Why She Won't: If Bree was going to bite the bullet, producers probably would have had her pull the trigger back when she contemplated suicide. If they came so close to killing her, and didn't, chances are she'll make it to the end — even if this new side of Bree makes fans cringe.
5. Tom (Doug Savant)
Why He Will Die: Because if Lynette can't have him, nobody can! Talk about the most tragic thing to happen on Wisteria Lane ever...
Why He Won't: Of all the Wisteria Lane hubbies, Tom is the least connected to Alejandro's death. Plus, the writers have had plenty of material to mine from his and Lynette's separation — killing him off before season's end would almost certainly feel like cutting their journey as a couple short.
6. Lynette (Felicity Huffman)
Why She Will Die: If we had to go through a divorce, miscarriage and cancer all in a few short years, we'd want to check out sooner rather than later, too.
Why She Won't: She is just starting to accept her split and start dating again, so if Lynette dies months before the final episode, would that leave enough time for closure? Probably not. More importantly, she's remained one of the most relatable housewives, so her death may be too heart-breaking for even the most ratings-desperate producers to bear. Kill Lynette, kill the show?
7. Gaby (Eva Longoria)
Why She Will Die: From a shallow cheater to a loving wife and mother, Gaby's come a long way, baby. If she were to die in some valiant way — to save her husband, her kids or her friends — it would make her story truly come full circle from the pilot.
Why She Won't: Through deaths, divorces and major disasters, Gaby's always made us laugh. Imagining the series' final episodes without Gaby is too unbearable a thought.
8. Susan (Teri Hatcher)
Why She Will Die: After eight seasons of prat falls, it's time. One too many hits to the head will do that! More seriously, Susan has pinned herself and the other women to Alejandro's disappearance too many times this season, first with her painting, then by going to Oklahoma. Since she doesn't seem to learn from her mistakes, one of these stupid moves may cost her big time.
Why She Won't: From her iconic accidental striptease in Season 1 to her once passionate will-they-or-won't-they romance with Mike, Susan has carried the show at one time or another. Would Marc Cherry really kill her off?
Desperate Housewives airs Sundays at 9/8c on ABC.
Who do you think is going to meet their maker on Wisteria Lane?
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